HOW SEXY IS TOO SEXY?

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HOW SEXY IS TOO SEXY?

I have been asked: what is the most difficult scene to write? That one is easy: #sex.

Now don’t get me wrong. It isn’t from lack of experience! No, the challenge stems from the fact that #sex is such an intense experience that to write it well I must decide how much detail is enough while making sure I don’t cross the line into too much. I hate it when I am reading a book and really want to shout, “TMI!”

The other thing that makes the writing of #sex scenes difficult is that I am a product of my time/era. I grew up during a certain period of history, in a specific #culture with its particular cultural norms that was nestled within the mainstream #culture. My family expressed our #culture in a certain way, and with that way comes a set of morals, ethics, viewpoints, perspectives, and obligations.

I must negotiate my way through those constraints to arrive at my own definitions of what is acceptable. But, isn’t that what writers do? We take where we came from, how we grew up, what we learned and what we dream and define the alternate realities that we create.

Beyond the personal, there is the major constraint of the story, the novel that I am writing. Scenes, whether sex scenes, battle scenes, or death scenes, must fit within the context of the story. I cannot simply decide I need some filler material so I’m going to write a battle scene, or maybe a juicy, hot sex scene. To employ such devices would create a jarring sense of disconnection within the story.

The #SpecialCrimesTeam murder mystery series I am writing does not lend itself to sex scenes, so in Book 1: Sketch of a Murder the reader will find battle scenes and death scenes, but not much in the way of sex.

In the second edition of #Good #Intentions, a literary #novel, sex is present, but more hinted at than actually shown.

Good Intentions Final cover

On the other hand, in my coming vampire series, Book 1: Artemis’ Warriors, there are very detailed sex scenes. Graphic sex is an integral part of the story.

While there is no simple solution to how I handle writing those challenging scenes, whether they are sex scenes, battle scenes or some other scene, the one constant is that a writer must be true to her vision of the story. I must know my #characters intimately enough to know how much is too much, how much is not enough to lend the #novel its verisimilitude.

I would be interested in hearing from my readers if they feel there should be more, or less, sex in my (soon-to-be-released) novels: #Good #Intentions, second edition, and Sketch of a Murder. Once you have read the novel, you can leave a comment on my blog, or leave a comment on my facebook page. Both books should be released by my publisher, Mountain Springs House (#MSH) by the end of this month.

Stay tuned to this blog for information on the release dates for Good Intentions and for Sketch of a Murder.

Meanwhile, you are invited to visit #Aya on #facebook:  http://www.facebook.com/ayawalksfar

One thought on “HOW SEXY IS TOO SEXY?

  1. ellie mack

    Well said Aya! I have posted several times about writing the sex scene. If it’s gratuitous leave it out. If it doesn’t advance the story leave it out. To whatever degree of detail you are able to write it and have it not read as porn – go for it. When I write erotica it is from the view of an intimate relationship not from someone just getting off. The same applies to violence – if it’s gratuitous leave it out, if it is necessary to express the severity of the battle, the emotional cost then by all means go for it. I also agree with the norms of our society, it’s breaking the rules to write as we do but then again that’s what I do – a rebel and nonconformist at heart. Am interested in reading this vampire series!

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